Eddy won, again. Congratulations.
However, I tell my friends from Philadelphia that I compete in the premier
ultramarathon skate event in the world. I think they deserve the truth about
how Eddy and I match up against each other head-to-head. Here goes:
Appearance
Eddy: lean, dark, slightly resembles Hugh Jackman.
Albert: thirty pounds overweight, dyed blonde hair, remarkable
resemblance to Barney Rubble.
Stomach
Eddy: six pack
Albert: keg
Skates
Eddy: Five wheeled custom molded job, probably from Eastern Europe or
Japan, with laser guided GPS tracking system and nuclear capabilities.
Albert: Eight year old Macroblades with half the left boot cut off by
a hacksaw two weeks ago because of a bone spur in my foot. Duct tape holding
the inside together.
Skating wins
Eddy: Six time National Champion, Athens-to-Atlanta at least five
times, more than I can to think about. Think I'm bothered? Ha! Keep
reading.
Albert: I beat this fourteen year old to the corner last week after I
pushed him onto the grass. I also raced my friend Maureen one time. She was
rowing crew on the Schulkyll River and I ran, in my skates, on the grass. I
kicked her butt!
Skating feats
Eddy: Skated on the Great Wall of China, on Mount Kilimanjaro, at
least fifteen different countries. Blah, blah, blah. Read all about it in
the program.
Albert (here's where the real similarities lie): First ascent of Mount
Katadhin in Maine with skates; went to the NY Opera and a wedding in skates.
Chaperoned the prom and went rock-climbing in skates. Took a nap in skates
once too!
Skating Controversy
Eddy: Photo finish win at A2A in 2002.
Albert: The time my four-year old daughter cried when I made her wear
skates in the house for two hours so she could learn to brake.
Finish Time
Eddy: 4 hours 30 -who cares? He freaking won again.
Albert: 7 hours 45 minutes 57 seconds. I'm just glad I didn't die.
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